Watching people break up is like watching a car crash into a tree and explode. Two cars on a dark road - one car barreling down the highway, out of control with high beams on unable to see anything in front of them. The other is rolling slowly, oblivious to what's coming with one headlight out. But when they finally look up and realize they can't share the same lane, it's too late and they swerve to avoid collision - one corrects too far in an effort not to hurt the other driver. The other just keeps going in a wild panic watching the flames roll into the air and billows of smoke cloud the sky.
Poetic...no. A metaphor for the fate of most relationships...perhaps.
I don't particularly like watching car accidents, but as they say, it's hard to turn away once you see the inevitable. And by then you've seen it happen so many times, you don't even flinch anymore. Another one bites the dust...or smashes the tree. All the same.
Aside from the metaphor, clearly I understand that at least 99% of people will do whatever it takes to not be alone - the limits of what they will endure or inflict seem to find no bounds while in pursuit. I was there once, I get it. But only once, when I was young and learning, and I promptly moved on because it wasn't for me. You might think, oh she's just heartbroken and hasn't found the right one, that's why she's so cynical about relationships. From the inside looking out, I'd think that makes sense, but you'd be wrong.
I haven't been on a date in over 6 years and I haven't had sex in 3-1/2. Am I a lonely, obese, single woman with bad body odor and bacne? Nope - not to too shabby looking if I do say so myself. Am I a feminist, lesbian who refuses to come out into the open? Alas, not that either. I'm not celibate, depressed, religious, infertile, confused or crazy. I'm that odd 1%. I don't need to "get back out there" or "meet new people" to be happy. I try to comprehend the usual rituals, but you people don't make any damn sense.
I suppose being the minority (extreme minority), it's more difficult for me to grasp the concept of a true relationship. I understand the purpose of reproduction, but what's the point of partnership? Someone to stress over, hold hands with, pay half the rent, babysit the offspring...all unnecessary. A domestic partnership, girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, boyfriend/boyfriend, wife/wife, whatever, is no more than a tax break and the hope that you won't be alone in the end.
But honestly, we're all alone in the end aren't we? Even with the love of your life, or maybe just the lust of the moment, when it's done, you don't get to bring a passenger. Only one person can sit behind the wheel.
